Let’s have a little bit of real talk. There have been so many highs along this ride, and that will continue. But I want this blog to be a place where I give you the big picture, and where I feel it’s needed to share the more vulnerable side of this journey. Everyone loves a highlight, but the challenges are often the bits we can learn the most from. 

I’ve been back in the UK for about five months, and if I’m honest, it’s been one of the hardest seasons I’ve ever walked through. I’ll spare the details, but I want to take a moment to process some of what’s been going on internally, to give you a glimpse into the battle that’s been happening in my mind.

And if you’re in a hard place too, I hope this reminds you that you’re not alone.

Just a heads up, this isn’t a “life was hard and now I’m through it” kind of blog. This is very much a still in it kind of blog.

It’s been one thing after another. After the first situation, I genuinely thought, “That’s it, I’ve had my share of bad things for the year.” But it didn’t stop, it kept coming.

And not just to me. In some ways, it would have been easier if it was only my own stuff to carry. But people around me, people I love deeply, have been walking through really painful situations too, some even heavier than mine. Watching that unfold has been its own kind of weight.

In the middle of it all, I’ve caught myself, more than once, jokingly saying things like, “Yeah, just throw that into the mix,” or “What’s the next bad thing that’s going to happen?”

At first, it feels harmless, just a way to laugh things off. But I’m starting to realise that what began as a coping mechanism has quietly become my default.

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” (Proverbs 18:21)

The other day, I said something like this to a friend on the phone. She immediately stopped me and said, “We rebuke that, this is the end of the bad news.”

That moment stayed with me.

It made me reflect on how quickly I turn to humour instead of turning to God. If I’m being honest, over the past few months, He hasn’t always been my first response. His presence should be my permanent dwelling place, not just a pit stop along the way.

“The Lord is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” (Psalm 91:2)

Which brings me to this, who you have around you matters.

Surround yourself with people who love you, who recognise the call of God on your life, and who will lift your hands when you’re too tired to lift them yourself. People who remind you of who you are, what you’re called to, and who spur you on to believe that the promises of God over your life will come to pass.

“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2)

We can’t, and we shouldn’t, do life alone.

I know I couldn’t have walked through these past five months without the people God has placed around me.

If I’m being real, I’ve also wrestled with thoughts like, is this the cost of following the call of God?

Do I really want to sign up for a life that feels like this? Like I’m constantly being poked, sometimes even punched, by the enemy? Wouldn’t it just be easier to walk away from it all?

That’s not dramatic, that’s something I genuinely cried down the phone to a friend this week.

I’ve felt robbed of my joy and peace. For a while, I managed to hold onto them, but eventually it felt like the weight of everything caught up with me.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy, I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” (John 10:10)

And yet, even in all of this, there have still been incredible moments.

That tension is real, the reality that joy and pain can coexist in the same season.

“Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of many kinds.” (James 1:2)

I’ve had to come to a decision, I’m going to choose to exalt God in the middle of the battle I’m facing. Because at the end of the day, it’s not my strength that’s going to carry me through, it’s His.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Someone asked me recently if I’m angry at God, and I understand that question, because for many people that is a very real and honest response in hard seasons.

But if I’m honest, that hasn’t been my story. 

Have I questioned things? Yes.
Have I asked why? Absolutely.
Have I cried out to Him? Many times.

But through it all, I’ve still known the love of God.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18)

Even in the moments where I’ve neglected Him, He hasn’t gone anywhere. He’s still been there, always.

“Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5)

Now that I’ve got all the emotional stuff out of the way, I wanted to share a little update on what I’ve been doing, and what’s next. This is the exciting bit. 

Being able to visit churches and schools to share about the work of The King’s Village has been such a privilege. I’ve also been supporting behind the scenes with admin, and I’m so grateful for the opportunity to build new connections, friendships, and a wider support network. I’ve had beautiful moments in prayer and in fellowship. 

I’m excited to share that I’ll be heading back to Ghana in June.

I’ll be continuing in my role as Children’s Pastor and Outreach Missionary at The King’s Village, and I’m expectant for all that God is going to do in this next season. I’m really looking forward to taking you along on the journey with me.

God has been moving in Ghana, with many children still coming to church in Yogu and lives continuing to be transformed through the work of The King’s Village. It’s been so encouraging to hear what’s been happening even while I’ve been away.

I’m excited to do life with people again, to see how God will move, and to support Ben and Marion in all the incredible work they do. I want to continue creating environments where people can encounter God, and grow in creativity when it comes to working with children.

I’m also really looking forward to the everyday parts of being back, learning the language more so I can communicate better with locals, exploring more of the area, and just being fully present in it all.

I’d love to go on a boat trip on the dam… and maybe even attempt driving in Ghana for the first time. Although I think someone might need to give me a lesson first on how to navigate potholes and goats.

If you feel led to support me as I do all of the above and so much more, I would be so grateful.

I have a prayer group which has been such a safe and encouraging space, if you’d like to join, the link is below. I would also ask you to consider supporting me financially if that’s something you feel able to do. I’m incredibly thankful for the 11 people who already sponsor me, it genuinely wouldn’t be possible without them as I continue on this step of faith.

Even a small amount goes a long way.

I’ve also put together an Amazon list of items I’d love to take with me to Ghana, if you’d like to contribute in that way, you can find the link below as well.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. 

I’m still in it. Still figuring it out. But I’m learning, slowly, that it was never meant to be my strength anyway.